So it’s been a while. I wanted to jump back into blogging, but so much time has passed that I feel some explanation is obligatory. Last year was pretty shit, but it managed to be awesome for the same reasons. I came to the end of a relationship that had lasted over a decade. At the same time, I launched myself into a new career as a copy editor (mostly working on books, specialising in fiction) after four years of not having a job. I finally got my driver’s licence and mostly got over how much I hate driving. I’d returned to Cape Town after living in Ethiopia and, post-breakup, I moved into a stupidly expensive apartment and initially tried to support myself as a newbie full-time freelancer, which was as short-sighted as I am (i.e. very).
I worked like a (very quiet, homely) demon, talked to people way more than I usually do (they’re often wonderful, as it turns out) and embraced a don’t-give-a-fuck attitude to deal with personal challenges that normally have me tied up in knots. It doesn’t work for everything, and I’m still an awkward, introverted mess, but I can achieve a lot simply by saying, “Just don’t give a fuck” and getting on with it. This works because it has the word “fuck” in it and I love to swear.
Profanity doesn’t help with workloads though. Multiple transitions, starting almost from scratch, and having endless to-do lists with amorphous work hours has made it hard to read and write for my blog, or even for leisure. These days I mostly read books because I’m editing them and I need to take breaks from it in a way that wasn’t necessary before. Freelancing part-time tends to mean that I always have work to do and leisure time is tinged with guilt about my to-do list. Blogging is personally and professionally fulfilling, but it doesn’t pay directly, so as much as I’d like to go back to reading and reviewing at least one book a week, I’m going to have to find my way to better circumstances before I can do that.
My life continues to evolve though. Not as dramatically as last year, but things are changing. I’ve got a few book edits under my belt now, including the snarky and violent Blacker than White by the talented Matthew MacDevette, in which you get to hear Lucifer tell her side of the story (more on that soon). The lovely Helen Moffett offered me an internship in collaboration with Modjaji Books, an independent feminist publisher, and I start this week. It pushes me to pursue a passion while pulling me way out of my sff comfort zone.
Now I’m faced with deciding what to do with the rest of 2016. I have a lot less time on my hands, so what do I spend it on? What skills should I learn/develop? How do I stop procrastinating and actually do all the things I want to do? How much sleep do I really need?
I could mull over this forever, so in the spirit of getting shit done I’m going to stop giving a fuck if this post is good enough and just hit ‘publish’.